There are some questions to ask your sugar daddy on a first date that will set the stage for the mutually beneficial relationship of your dreams. And, unlike with traditional dating, these questions aren’t just simple small talk. But don’t get the wrong idea. While you will be talking about the details of your arrangement, your first-date conversation should be fun and loose.
If you’re not sure how to get started or what to ask, relax: we’ve got it covered! Here’s our list of the most important questions for a successful first date with your sugar daddy.
What are you looking for in a mutually beneficial relationship?
To be fair, by the time you have your first date, you and your potential sugar daddy will probably have already talked about this. Maybe you included in your bio that you were looking for a friends-with-benefits situation or perhaps you already asked whether they’re interested in a platonic relationship.
The problem is that everyone can have their own interpretation of some of the most common sugar dating terms. No strings attached for one person might mean something totally different for another.
So, if you haven’t hammered down these details or you’re still a little unsure of what your partner wants, this is the time to ask.
Are you comfortable with providing me with what I want as a sugar baby?
In a mutually beneficial arrangement, you are bringing your own list of expectations that will make you feel fulfilled in the relationship. You don’t have to be shy about this! In fact, your sugar daddy will appreciate your openness and honesty when talking about what you want from them. While it may feel unnatural to talk so forwardly on a first date, here are a few ways to phrase the question that will feel more comfortable:
- “I love being able to show up to dates looking my best. Would you be willing to cover the cost of a salon visit before I see you again?”
- “I’m looking for a partner who can introduce me to people in my field. Do you know of any networking events that I can go to with you?”
- “I’m a huge foodie, and I’m looking for someone who likes fine dining. Would you be willing to invite me to restaurant openings or your favorite restaurants?”
As you can see, you don’t have to be overly formal or robotic when talking about what you expect from a mutually beneficial relationship. Talk about how you envision a sugar daddy spoiling you and it will set the tone for your arrangement.
What are your feelings on communication between dates?
In some arrangements, it will be expected that you only communicate in order to arrange dates and other logistical details. Others are more open to friendly chatting in between meetings. And, others still can go even further by sending interesting photos or suggestive banter to keep the spice alive.
The amount of contact for your arrangement will depend on a few different things. If your sugar daddy is far too busy to keep a conversation going, for one thing, you’ll probably stick with logistical messages only. If, on the other hand, your sugar daddy is open to more frequent contact, how can you make sure to include that as part of your arrangement? Do you want to put a limit on how much you talk? These are important questions to ask your sugar daddy during your first date.
How often do you want to meet?
Unless you’ve already established that you or your sugar daddy is looking for a brief arrangement, you’ll want to talk about how many times per week or month you’ll schedule dates moving forward.
Of course, you don’t need to feel like you’re signing any kind of commitment contract! But, getting a feel for how often your sugar daddy would like to see you will help you organize your schedule to make time for future dates. During this conversation, it’s important to be honest about how available you are so that you don’t get your sugar daddy’s hopes up unnecessarily. Your sugar daddy will expect you to have your own life and maybe even be dating other partners, so you don’t need to feel bad about being honest about how often you can see each other.
Are there travel plans for our future?
Whether or not you’re a sugar baby who loves to travel, you should ask your partner about this early in the arrangement.
For one thing, if you do want to travel, you’ll want to make sure that your sugar daddy knows that you’re on board for any romantic getaways they might plan.
If, on the other hand, your schedule is too busy to get away or you’re simply not interested in traveling with your partner, you should clarify that early on.
This topic is also simply a great conversation starter. Don’t be surprised if it branches off into stories about their past travels or travel plans that they’re excited about in the future.
What are your biggest pet peeves in a mutually beneficial relationship?
You might be starting to see a pattern here: some of the questions you ask on a first date double as great conversation topics and useful information for your mutually beneficial arrangement.
Asking a potential partner what they don’t appreciate in a relationship, for instance, can help you make mental notes of what to avoid. Maybe they ended a previous arrangement because their sugar baby canceled plans at the last minute too often. Or perhaps they don’t like when a partner is glued to their phone when they’re trying to have a conversation.
In turn, you’ll be able to talk about some of the things that you don’t like in a relationship. But, try not to be overly critical or negative here. In fact, you might take this opportunity to spin your pet peeves into something positive. Here are a couple of examples,
- “It can be a bit challenging to date someone who isn’t clear about what they want, but luckily, it seems like you know what you’re looking for.”
- “I’ve found myself annoyed in the past with partners who don’t give me enough notice when they want to see me. It’s great when someone can give me at least a couple of days so that I can rearrange my schedule and give them my full attention.”
As you can see, talking about pet peeves in this way isn’t about complaining about your previous relationships. Instead, it can give your new partner a roadmap of how to keep you satisfied in the mutually beneficial arrangement.
Just make sure to keep it breezy and open-minded and this question can lead to some enlightening conversation!
Where is the emotional line for you?
Even for people who are experienced in the world of sugar daddy dating, attachments can sometimes form between two partners with great chemistry. And, if the boundaries of your relationship aren’t clear, that can pose some problems.
You’ll want to know what level of emotional intimacy your partner is interested in. Are they looking for something that is purely no strings attached? Are they hoping for a platonic relationship in which they can share their feelings? Or, somewhere in the middle, such as in a friends with benefits kind of arrangement?
This might also be a good opportunity to talk about what you might do in the case that one person starts to develop deeper feelings than you originally agreed upon. Will you end the relationship? Or would the two of you be open to negotiating the terms of the arrangement?
How should we navigate other details?
By this point in your date, you’ve covered some of the most important questions to ask your sugar daddy to start your arrangement off on the right note. But, there may still be some other details that need to be covered. Here are a few final topics that you may want to touch on before the bill comes:
- The details of what you expect from the arrangement. You’ve talked about what you want from your partner, but it may be important to clarify how they can deliver on their promises. Will they be the ones to book your appointment at the hair salon? How will they deliver gifts? In other words, what are the logistics of you receiving the benefits of your mutually beneficial arrangement?
- Transportation. Transportation is one thing that new sugar babies may not think to talk about. But, you absolutely should. If your sugar daddy invites you on a date outside of your neighborhood, what kind of transportation will they provide for you? The safest option would be for them to order you a rideshare from a well-known app or a professional hired driver.
- Intimacy. What role will physical intimacy play in your relationship? Are you interested in something purely platonic? Or, could you see the two of you developing a more intimate relationship? Remember that you’re able to create the arrangement that is best for you, but don’t shy away from having the conversation early so that you’re both on the same page.
It’s your turn to ask away!
We’ve provided some great conversation starters for you to get to know your partner a little better, but the truth is, you might have more questions of your own! Use these common questions to ask your sugar daddy as a jumping-off board, and then follow your curiosity. It will make for an absolutely engaging evening with your partner!