Ask an Expert: What do men look for in a woman?


Last Updated: February 2, 2024

Dating Tips

What do men look for in a woman, especially in the world of sugaring? The answer is more complex than you might expect. Even the sugar daddies, themselves, might have the wrong idea about how attraction really works!

In this article, we’re going to dive into the question of what men like. By the end, you’ll have a better understanding of the characteristics, values, and behaviors that stand out to men. And, you’ll have an easier time making meaningful connections in your future relationships.

A word on generalizations before we get started

We want to point out right away that there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to attraction. While we can certainly find useful patterns and commonalities between men, the truth of the matter is, everyone is different. In fact, one of the wonderful things about the sugaring community is that it welcomes people with their own unique preferences and desires.

This will be especially important to remember as we go through some of the tips for boosting attraction at the end of this article. In other words, walk away with what’s interesting and exciting to you, and don’t worry too much about the ways that you might not comply with these standards of attraction. At the end of the day, there’s a sugar daddy for every type of woman.

Now, let’s talk about some of the common ways that men experience attraction!

Let’s start with the obvious: physical attributes

It’s not a radical statement to say that men tend to be drawn to women who are physically attractive. And even though it may seem obvious, there is, in fact, scientific evidence to prove it.

A study published in 2021 called “Sex differences in sexual attraction for aesthetics, resources, and personality across age” found that men are more likely to value attractiveness and physical build than women. This remains consistent over their lifetime, which means that men at 20 and men at 60 are just about equally likely to be attracted to pretty women.

Why is this the case? Well, it’s difficult to say for sure, but researchers theorize that it probably has to do with our evolution. Men may be more attracted to women who show signs of being in peak fertility, i.e. young and healthy.

Was physical beauty the only attractive quality?

Let’s give men a little bit of credit, here. Of course, they’re not only interested in physical beauty!

In that same study, men tended to rank other qualities, like openness, trust, and emotional connection, as significantly important in their overall attraction for a potential mate.

Another interesting study found that it’s not only first impressions that breed attraction, but also familiarity. The 2004 study discovered that when exposed to the same faces multiple times, men were more likely to rate them favorably than unfamiliar faces.

What does this mean for sugar dating? Well, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, your partner’s attraction to you could increase over time. As long as you’re able to build an emotional connection with honesty and trust, your sugar daddy will continue to find you attractive. Maybe even more so with time.

Were there characteristics that men didn’t like?

Our first question was, “What do men look for in a woman?” But finding out what’s less attractive to them is equally interesting.

For one thing, education and income levels were not typically a source of attraction for men. This doesn’t mean that they’re not impressed by women who are ambitious and self-sufficient. But, it’s simply not a deciding factor either way.

That being said, intelligence was something of a tricky subject. A study from The Quarterly Journal of Economics found that men in a speed dating experiment were likely to take issue with women they perceived to be smarter than themselves. Perhaps they were off-put by a woman who comes across as a know-it-all, or maybe the participants were a touch insecure. The study was conducted, after all, on only graduate students. It’s entirely possible that men with a bit more life experience and success in their careers would be more open to intelligent women.

What can we take away from this? Well, we wouldn’t say that you should shy away from showing off your intelligence around a sugar daddy. As long as you’re not arrogant, your partner is going to enjoy spending time with someone who is thoughtful and quick-witted. Moreover, these findings should be good news if you initially feel intimidated by the difference in education level and income between you and your sugar daddy. Because according to the research, men don’t factor those things into their attraction to a partner.

How can you use science to become a better sugar baby?


Now that you know some of the answers to what men look for in a woman, you can take your sugaring lifestyle to the next level. Here are a few ways that you can use the research to your advantage:

Find a beauty regimen that works for you

The truth is, physical beauty is appealing to men. But that doesn’t mean that everyone can devote hours of their day to their beauty regimen. And no one should feel pressured into having surgical work done or spending hours at the gym trying to get the perfect hourglass figure if they don’t want to.

Instead, think about the things that you can do to give yourself a little confidence boost. Maybe it’s learning how to wear makeup for your unique bone structure. Perhaps it’s having your sugar daddy book you a hair appointment or nail salon session. Maybe it is getting a personal trainer because you like the way you look and feel when you’re exercising regularly. It doesn’t hurt to put effort into your appearance as long as it comes from a place of empowerment instead of competition. Remember, there are other characteristics that men find attractive! So, you don’t have to spend all of your efforts on physical beauty.

Don’t underestimate the power of fashion

If you enjoy putting outfits together for different moods, settings, and activities, your sugar daddy will definitely notice. Take some time to learn how to find flirty and flattering clothes that look best on your unique body. You’ll feel more confident, which is very attractive!

Practice self-care

It might surprise you to see this one on the list, but the fact is, you’re most attractive when you’re at your best. Keep in mind that the researchers in attractiveness studies have theorized that men are attracted to women who are in good health. That means physically and mentally!

So, no matter what techniques you use to take care of yourself, be it yoga, running, painting, or dance, don’t let these activities go by the wayside even when life gets busy.

And, if there’s something going on physically, be proactive about seeking treatment. You might even find that a sugar daddy can support you by making sure you get the best medical care possible. As long as it contributes to you feeling your best, it’s a top priority.

Make your sugar daddy feel safe


One of the qualities that men found attractive in studies was trust. They wanted to feel respected, understood, and valued by a potential partner.

You can do this by creating a welcoming, non-judgmental space for your partner. Listen to what he has to say without jumping to conclusions. Ask him follow-up questions so that he feels encouraged to keep talking. If there’s something you don’t agree with, stay curious about his perspective and learn how to share your own opposing views without anger or resentment.

Another important way to show that you’re trustworthy? By being reliable. Double-check to confirm upcoming dates. Stay in communication with your sugar daddy if plans change. Show up on time to dates. And be honest about why you’re late if it does happen. These small gestures build up over time to create a sense of trust and dependability that your sugar daddy will find very appealing.

Finally, be authentic. There’s nothing better for building trust than being honest. Whether you’re talking through the negotiation phase or letting him see your silly side, your authenticity will make you irresistible. That’s because when you are honest about what you want and who you are, your sugar daddy will know they can trust you.

Open up as much as you’re comfortable with

There’s a stereotype about men that they don’t want to be overly emotional or open with their partners. But as we saw from these studies, the research shows otherwise! In fact, men like a partner they feel they can open up to and build an emotional bond with. This goes for traditional dating as well as sugaring. So, how can you encourage this kind of openness?

Well, one way is to be vulnerable yourself. Now, we don’t mean that you should lay out your whole life story or every bad thing that’s ever happened to you on your first date. This is likely to scare him off.

Instead, share little snippets when appropriate over time and as much as you’re comfortable with. Maybe a certain dish at a restaurant reminds you of the food your grandmother used to make. Perhaps a painting at an art gallery reminds you of your trip to Italy. Sharing these small tidbits will help you maintain healthy boundaries between your personal life and your sugar dating while still encouraging emotional connection.

Don’t let too much time go by without seeing your sugar daddy

This loops back to the study showing that familiarity breeds attraction. And it’s like that old saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.” You certainly don’t want that to happen in your sugar relationship. So, take an active role in staying connected.

And we get why this can be a challenge. In traditional dating, you might be tempted to let a partner pursue you. But, sugaring is all about letting those conventions go. You want to keep seeing your sugar daddy, so tell him! He’ll appreciate you being proactive. And the more he sees you, the more connected he’ll feel to you.

Send selfies to keep him thinking of you

While you don’t want to let too much time go by without seeing your sugar daddy, the reality is, you both probably lead pretty busy lives. You may not be able to see your partner all the time, and the distance can actually do some good by building up anticipation and desire.

In the meantime, don’t underestimate the power of a good selfie! This will give him the chance to see what he’s missing, which is definitely attractive! Use selfies sparingly to keep the spark alive, and you’ll see that your sugar daddy won’t want to wait to schedule your next date in person.

So, what do men look for in a woman? Like we said, it’s complicated!

In this article, we’ve covered male attraction in very broad strokes. And that can be helpful if you’re looking for some tips to be more appealing to potential partners. But always remember that everyone is different. Pay close attention to what your sugar daddy finds attractive and lean into it! Tailoring your relationship to his unique preferences will make you an absolute stunner in his eyes!

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